Silence & Solitude

I know that this is supposed to be a filmmaking blog, but I wanted to convey my thoughts on fellow filmmaker (and someone all of us at Divergence hope to work with), Luke Goss’ new book.

I knew that Desert Conversation would have plenty of beautiful photographs and little nuggets of wisdom like those we get on Twitter. What I hadn’t been prepared for were so many deeply personal revelations. Many of us who have struggled to find our place in the world or who have fallen short of conventional success look at someone like Luke Goss, who has been making music and movies for thirty years, and figure he must have had life figured out a long time ago. As you read about his personal journey and this new stage of self-transformation he’s embarked on, it creates a wonderful sense of kinship for those of us doing the same.

I could have written a complete, book-length response to his book, but I didn’t want to make this all about me. It’s enough to say that every page, every paragraph brought up thoughts and feelings that I knew I needed to explore within myself. Every word resonated with the person I’ve been trying to bring out in myself. When I was young, before I’d been “conditioned by the world” as Luke writes about, I was obsessed with making the world a better place. As I got older and personally introduced to the cruelties of the world, I grew into what some have called a cold, unfeeling person. It’s only recently that I’ve come to realize I had something called hyper-empathy. The only way I was able to protect myself from the onslaught of other people’s moods and emotions, and my own sensitivity to being misunderstood was to disconnect with my feelings. I don’t want to be that person anymore, though I still struggle with how to maintain balance.

Luke’s philosophy (for yes, it is a philosophy) offers a different way to deal with the ills of the world: Kindness. It may sound simple, but it makes so much more sense than trying to fight against hate with more hate and anger. It makes more sense to try and bring comfort and happiness to someone who’s been bullied than to try and fight the bully, at least to me, someone deeply affected by the negative energies of others.

Which brings me to Luke’s polite insistences that these are only his thoughts, and his knowledge that, sadly, some will ridicule him for these ideas. Naive is a word that probably comes to some peoples’ minds. I don’t agree and, thankfully, I know that there are plenty of others that won’t either. In fact, his ideas are so refreshing and welcoming that I imagine legions would follow him into the desert to listen to him expound on them. Though, I very much doubt that’s something he’d actually want. Still, I can’t help but think that Luke Goss deserves to take his place among the sages and gurus. In a time when it’s more fashionable to point out flaws, Luke suggests offering words of kindness instead. In a time when we’ve become isolated by the very technology that was meant to connect us, he suggests unplugging now and then and actually talking to someone. In a time when every waking moment seems to be filled with more and more noise, he advocates silence and solitude, knowing that God, or the universe, or the spirit within has answers to all your questions if you are only willing to be still and listen.

Though he knows it may not be cool, he spends a lot of time professing to be a hippy and I can’t help but smile at the thought. He counts himself among a group of people who just want to see more peace, love, and happiness in the world, who want to protect nature, and don’t care what your skin color is or what background you came from. I can’t imagine what could possibly be wrong with that.

Our (Almost) Completed Cast!

So, we’ve been doing a lot of auditioning the last couple of weeks. A lot more than anticipated actually! Oddly enough, the only characters people were hesitant about were Freddy Spinner and Emerald Lemmons. It was a bit saddening, as they were both going to be women of color, powerful, integral to Atticus’ life and so on. It made me realize that there aren’t enough older women of color in the entertainment world. Perhaps a challenge to tackle at some point! For now, we can only do so much. We’re still looking for Freddy at this moment, but we’ve found a good Emerald. We’re also still holding Drake for…a certain someone who will hopefully sign on in the next few months.

In the meantime, welcome to our cast!

This is Thomas Jennings and he’ll be tackling the lead role, Atticus McLaren.

Jayson Baird will be playing his little brother, Scout McLaren.

Mirren Childs is the lovely actress we finally found for Emerald Lemmons, Atticus’ professor and friend.

My awesome and patient colleague, Elizabeth Lockwood, as DI Bruce Barnes.

Mark Dawson as assistant curator, Grant Hildebrand.

Eilidh Fisher as Constable Haig.

And now, for a few faces you probably know!

Simon Kane of Mitchell and Webb and John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme fame will be playing Freddy’s eccentric neighbor, Humphrey Atherton!

And for the Battlestar Galactica and Dirk Gently fans, I give you:

Aaron Douglas who’s agreed to play Atticus’ old-fashioned and also slightly eccentric boss, Cornelius Smith!

It’s been a wild ride, but we’re almost at…the starting line. LOL! We’ll be fundraising in a couple of months, so if you’d actually like to see all these people together on the screen, we’re going to need your help! We really hope you decide to take this ride with us! Watch this space!

 

Autism and Chasing Your Dreams

Hi all! I know I’ve been absent for a while, but things have been really busy here at Divergence. We’ve put out a casting call and have reached out to the autistic community for feedback and are getting a lot of interest on both. I have noticed though, that many don’t realize that Atticus is based on me. Perhaps a little loosely, especially since my own knowledge of the subject is still somewhat fledgling, but the more I learn, the more I wonder how no one ever saw the traits in me. Having to figure this all out myself in my thirties is proving a real challenge.

So, I wanted to ramble at you a bit about what this all means for me and for the company. Two of my basic traits are social anxiety and anxiety caused by a disruption to my routine. “But you want to be a filmmaker!” you cry. “That’s all about unpredictability and long days on the set.”  Yes, I know. It sounds a bit contradictory, doesn’t it? For as long as I can remember, though, I’ve wanted to work in the entertainment industry. I’ve never harbored any notions of being an actor or anything like that. I was strictly a behind the scenes person. For the most part, I’ve been a writer. But now we’re talking about directing and producing and having to contact actor’s agents. “That must be so hard for you?” you wonder. And the truth is, yes, yes it is. I’ve yet to call anyone on the phone and get nervous just thinking about it. Luckily, the internet has kept that at bay for now. And there are times when the whole thing just seems too overwhelming, and I feel like an idiot that doesn’t know what they’re doing. On the other hand, it’s all very glorious and wonderful. Something I’ve always wanted is starting to come true, and trust me, it’s been a long and harrowing road here.

I imagine there will be times when I just want it to end. I have this vision of me in a tiny house in the wilderness somewhere, just me and a couple of dogs and my garden. It’s a vision that becomes strong when things feel too overwhelming and I just want to get away from it all. I’ve felt it in the back of my mind here and there the past six months, but never very strongly, and not nearly as much as I did before I started this movie making journey. I feel very much like this is the path I need to be on. Ever see the new Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency? It’s a lot like that. Things really are connected, and if you learn to see the patterns, the path will lead you where you’re supposed to be. I feel like I’m going in the right direction, but the universe never said that meant it would all be easy.

It’s Starting to Get Real in Here

The Atticus McLaren Mysteries is starting to get closer and closer to being a real TV show. It’s both exciting and exhausting, especially as we start gearing up for fundraising.

For those of you who are new here or unfamiliar with the books, here’s a little bit of what the show is about-

“Atticus McLaren isn’t your typical British detective. For one thing, he’s not a real detective. For another, he lives in a garden shed and spends his spare time making intricate terrariums.

Sometimes finding the answer takes a different way of thinking.

The Atticus McLaren Mysteries is an hour long TV drama, set in modern Edinburgh and, as you might have guessed, it is an amateur detective mystery series. Unlike other British detective shows though, I wanted to bring something new to the table, so I started with the premise of having a main character who was not a professional detective, but instead, was a museum technician who loved a good mystery, and was autistic.

Atticus McLaren works at the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh, where he is a museum technician. In the pilot episode, Atticus begins to hear strange noises and find artefacts misplaced at the museum. At first, it is dismissed as a simple prank, but as more strange incidents occur, the police are brought in to investigate. Together with Detective Sergeant Drake Mallard, his friend Freddy Spinner, and his brother, Scout, Atticus must find out what is really going on. Over the season, the mystery will deepen and turn more dangerous as someone tries to kill Atticus and the Sergeant, Freddy disappears, and Carl, the night security guard ends up dead.”

The plan is to start filming the pilot episode this time next year. It will be completely independently produced, probably through crowdfunding, and will more than likely be a webseries. We have a bit of a crew, and two actors on board already. One is our very own Elizabeth Lockwood (as in, she’s part of the team), and the other is Aaron Douglas (yes, as in the dude who played Chief Galen Tyrol in Battlestar Galactica!) For those of you who know the books, he’ll be playing the part of Cornelius Smith. For those that don’t, he’s the quirky, old-fashioned curator at The National Museum of Scotland. We’ve also approached a couple of other actors you’d probably recognize and are waiting to hear back from their people.

Before any of this can actually happen, though, there will be a lot of fundraising to do. We plan to start crowdfunding for pre-production (which will allow us to book filming spaces, get the rest of the crew put together, and maybe even pay our actors up front) on May 1st. We’ll be using Seed&Spark (www.seedandspark.com) because they have a high success rate, are committed to filmmakers’ careers and not just single projects, and have lots of perks for donors and filmmakers. Oh, and did I mention, they actually have a viewing platform right on their site? That way we could simply distribute through them if we want. They also allow people to follow if they can’t donate, and campaigns get perks for follows as well. We’re planning lots of great perks for people that can donate, though, from shoutouts from the cast, to free copies of the books, to a membership to the National Museums of Scotland. When we start raising money for the actual production process, we’ll add behind the scenes access as well as a chance to be in the show.

The plan is to raise funds for each episode as we go, hopefully enough for the six episodes of season one and beyond!

What’s a Filmmaker To Do?

Over the last several days, I (Spring) have been asking autistics what they’d like to see out of a show about an autistic character? As you all know by now, The Atticus McLaren Mysteries isn’t really about solving mysteries, per se, but neither is it a show specifically about autism. Like the show just happens to be an amateur detective series, Atticus just happens to be autistic. It is not a show about his autism, but it is a show about a man who’s different from the majority of people, trying to find his way in a world dominated by those who aren’t like him, and who he often doesn’t understand.

What many of you might not know is that Atticus is about 75% me. Most of his traits are mine, and his reactions and thoughts are based on my own experiences. Still, this isn’t a show about me, either. We’ve gotten lots of input and made lots of insights, from people wanting the character’s traits to be openly discussed so people can understand his experiences, to wanting Atticus to be portrayed by an autistic actor. And there in lies the rub. I happen to think this is a brilliant idea myself. It would make casting more difficult, and we’d definitely have to open it up to auditions, but a good idea nonetheless. My problem though? When I first imagined Atticus, I had one person in mind. I always write with a face claim, so to speak. I had never really intended the books to become a show, and when I wrote the character, I had a physical template for him in mind. Unfortunately, this person is neither autistic, nor queer, nor even an actor in the traditional sense. He does act, but he’s spent his whole career portraying a caricature of himself. So what does this mean for our production? I’m not sure, really. Would I like him to play the part? Of course. One of my own autistic traits is a firm grasp on continuity. Once things have been decided, it’s very difficult for me to see them any other way. Does that mean he should play the part? Maybe not.

I’ve struggled with what to do about Atticus ever since deciding to produce the show myself. At this moment, I’ve decided we should leave our options open. That’s not always an easy thing for me, I generally work best from a firm plan. But leaving options open has worked well for us in the last six months, so that’s what we’re going to do. So, who’ll be playing Atticus McLaren in the Atticus McLaren mysteries? I have no idea, and the truth is, that’s the same answer I’ve had from the beginning. So, I suppose nothing’s changed.

Over the next few months, we’ll be asking for a lot more input. If anyone is interested in becoming a part of this, just comment below. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list as we’ll be sending out updates as we gear up for our crowdfunding campaign!